Plan B is the new Plan A
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
