Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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