you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize