in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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