we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
