Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
