he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
