...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
