Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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