she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
