i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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