true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
