I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
