i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
