the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
