apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize