he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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