Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
It's never too late to be topless.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
