Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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