How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
