I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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