Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize