You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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