Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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