Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
