Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
