Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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