party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
they're like a gay fantastic four
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
