I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
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I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
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The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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