We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
