my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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