I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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