i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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