Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize