Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
