do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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