Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
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