In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
