The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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