I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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