dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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