After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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