i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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