i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
