I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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