Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
