No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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