we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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