you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
