Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
