I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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