Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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