Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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