She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
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