Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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