wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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