Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
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I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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