i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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