I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
