He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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