Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
