Rock
Scissors
Fuck
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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