i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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