I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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