i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
